Self Doubt & Then Some

What a sad state I’m in!

The spiritual gift of teaching:

What does it mean that teachers will be judged more strictly (James 3:1)? This verse speaks concerning overseers (pastors) and those who teach God’s word besides an overseer.

In James 3:1, it is stated that it is preferable for only a few individuals to take on the role of teachers as fellow believers because they understand that those who teach will face a more stringent judgment. The church holds those who aspire to leadership to a higher standard than other believers because of teachers’ powerful influence. The influence of educators’ work and language surpasses that of non-teachers. If teachers stumble, their mistakes can have far-reaching consequences.

First, Timothy 3:2–10 sheds more light on God’s expectations for those who would lead by teaching. That passage gives a list of qualifications that elders (pastors, overseers) must possess before being entrusted with the care of God’s church. One of those qualifications is that he is “able to teach” (verse 2). Elders are teachers, and God says they will be judged more strictly due to the seriousness of their responsibility.
Are spiritual gifts like a covenant between God and the one who was gifted?
Are those anointed to lead a congregation, pastor, elder, or overseer under a covenant, specifically the new covenant, that only Jesus can fulfill in each individual, providing the individual is obedient to their calling and in teaching others concerning the new covenant?
James 3.1 is the biggest reason I do not like to teach, but I do so because that is what I’m directed to do, even though I argue that all my sins, self-doubt, and not having a seminary degree disqualify me. I’m constantly fighting against the current, trying to get out of the water.
After forty years of learning and writing, I think I am unqualified. Everything I have written on this blog is what I’ve been learning and what I have understood. Now, I doubt everything I have learned and written, asking the Lord if I am truly doing what I should be doing. Darn that accountability, it is the root of all my self doubt. I’m getting ready to teach a 3.5-month course on eschatology, at least the introduction to eschatology. I’ve prepared my power point, accumulated data from various sources, and even created a class syllabus. You would think I’m some sort of professor of theology or a bible school teacher. I’m just an elder in the church who sees a need, and now I wish I could live up to the NAVY meaning – never again volunteer yourself. I’m doomed! The Lord is going to throw me into the lake of fire. God have mercy. I’m fighting teaching even though I believe that is one spiritual gift I know I have.
Mike Kovach

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